Wesley Corpus

Fain would I know my utmost ill, And groan my nature's weight to feel, To feel the clouds that round me roll, The night that hangs upon my soul. The darkness of my carnal mind, My will perverse, my passions blind, Scatter'd o'er all the earth abroad, Immeasurably far from God. Jesu! My heart's desire obtain, My earnest suit present and gain, My fulness of corruption show, The knowledge of myself bestow; A deeper displicence17 at sin, A sharper sense of hell within, A stronger struggling to get free, A keener appetite for thee. For thee my spirit often pants, Yet often in pursuing faints, Drooping it soon neglects t' aspire, To fan18 the ever-dying fire: No more thy glory's skirts are seen, The world, the creature steals between; Heavenward no more my wishes move, And I forget that thou art love. O sovereign love, to thee I cry, Give me thyself, or else I die. Save me from death, from hell set free, Death, hell, are but the want of thee. 17A rare word meaning "dislike." 18"To fan" changed to "Nor fans" in 4th edn. (1743) and 5th edn. (1756). Page 99 Quicken'd by thy imparted flame, Sav'd, when possest of thee, I am; My life, my only heav'n thou art: And lo! I feel19 thee in my heart! 19Changed to "When shall I feel" in 3rd edn. (1739); and to "O might I feel" in 4th edn. (1743) and 5th edn. Page 101 Part II. Christ the Friend of Sinners.20 Where shall my wond'ring soul begin? How shall I all to heaven aspire? A slave redeem'd from death and sin, A brand pluck'd from eternal fire, How shall I equal triumphs raise, And sing my great Deliverer's praise! O how shall I the goodness tell, Father, which thou to me hast show'd, That I, a child of wrath, and hell, I should be call'd a child of God!21 Should know, should feel my sins forgiven, Blest with this antepast of heaven! 20This is likely the "hymn on his conversion" that Charles records writing in MS Journal (May 23, 1738). 21Charles Wesley changes line in All in All (1761) to read: "Should now be called a child of God." Page 102