{"id":"jw/letters/1731/02-to-mrs-pendarves","corpus":"jw-letters","type":"letter","author":"john-wesley","title":"02 To Mrs Pendarves","title_alt":[],"text_basis":null,"date_composed":null,"date_precision":"unknown","date_note":null,"numbering":{"bicentennial":null,"jackson_running":null,"sugden":null},"source_edition":{"editor":null,"title":null,"edition":null,"place":null,"publisher":null,"year":null,"volume":null,"pages":null,"scan_url":null,"scan_page_ids":null},"transcription":{"derived_from":null,"corrected_against_scan":false,"corrector":null,"corrected_on":null},"modernization":"none","license_text":"Public Domain Mark 1.0","license_apparatus":"CC BY 4.0","wikidata":null,"prev":null,"next":null,"part_of":"jw-letters","editorial_note":null,"source_id":"jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves","passage_ids":["jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-000","jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-001"],"word_count":780,"themes_auto":["catholic-spirit","free-will","pneumatology","universal-redemption","works-mercy"],"open":true,"closed_reason":null,"legacy_ids":["jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-000","jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-001"],"passages":[{"id":"jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-000","author":"john-wesley","source_id":"jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves","source_title":"02 To Mrs Pendarves","source_type":"letter","year":null,"chunk_index":0,"text":"To Mrs. Pendarves January 11 1731. Why will Aspasia let in these unpleasing thoughts, these uneasy fears upon me From your long silence I can't but apprehend either that you have been out of order, or that I have been so unhappy as to displease you by some indecent or foolish expression. What shelter can I fly to from these apprehensions, unless it were possible to take in a strict sense that strange intimation you have sometimes given of being afraid to converse with me O Aspasia, if you are afraid you can't come up to the character given you by our dear Varanese, how can I hope to reach that which equal kindness but not equal justice drew What excuse does your fear leave my presumption how can I speak, if you are silent I have reasons enough (if any reasons could be enough to keep one so obliged as me from owning it) entirely to decline an intercourse which every step I take shows me unfit for; in which I can no more keep up to the spirit of Aspasia than I can in this or anything answer her expectations, and expectations for which you have too much ground; which, considering the many advantages I have long enjoyed over and above the friendship of our Varanese, though I cannot, I ought to satisfy. I ought to be some way useful to you, as you have been many ways to me. I ought to have turned that charming freedom you indulge me in to yours as well as my own advantage; to have employed it the most generous friendly way, in endeavoring to correct those failings in Selima and Aspasia (for surely no human creature is wholly spotless) which I have not yet so much as observed. I ought I know not what. When will these two or three weeks be over, that I may speak what I cannot write See letter to his father (Dec. 11, 1730) about going up to Westminster, and letter of Jan. 27 to Mrs. Pendarves. It is in your power to make them move less slow. A line from Aspasia or Selima would make the time roll more swiftly, as it would, I hope, remove the apprehensions of Your CYRUS. Mrs. Pendarves replies: NEW BOND STREET, January 15, 1731.","word_count":386,"source_url":null,"themes":["free-will","pneumatology","works-mercy"],"created_at":"2026-01-29T18:40:11.886295"},{"id":"jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves-001","author":"john-wesley","source_id":"jw-letter-1731-02-to-mrs-pendarves","source_title":"02 To Mrs Pendarves","source_type":"letter","year":null,"chunk_index":1,"text":"I have but a moment's time, and I cannot employ it better than in assuring Cyrus, though I doubtless appear unworthy of the favor he shows me, that Aspasia has been more unfortunate than ungrateful. The true reason I have not wrote has been my incapacity of doing it. A great weakness I had in my eyes for a considerable time, and the fear of its returning if I strained them too soon, has been the only reason of my silence. I have received all your letters, and am infinitely obliged by them. Selima several times designed making up for my deficiency; but her heart faded, and she said she was ashamed, and talked of her not being able to write well enough, and several things of that sort, which I could not agree with her in. We talk of the worth of Cyrus and Araspes whenever we have any private conversation. I desire when you come to town you will let me know what day will be most convenient for you to come to me, a pleasure I depend upon; but do not come without sending, because my brother is in the house with us, and he is frequently engaged with company. It would be a great concern to me and to Selima to have you come at a time when perhaps we may either be abroad or engaged with company that would not be agreeable to you. I hope Araspes is well, though you do not mention him in your letter. I am called away. Ought I not to be ashamed to send such a hasty scrawl to Cyrus If it serves to convince you that I am not quite unworthy of your correspondence, I shall esteem it one of the best letters I ever wrote. And that you may not think you are the only person who have thought themselves neglected by me, at the same time I received your last I had one from Varanese that wounded my very heart. However, I hope I have regained her favor, and that you will not be less indulgent to one who knows very well how to value your acquaintance, and is Your most faithful friend and humble servant, ASPASIA, I make it my humble request that you will burn every letter I write. She renews this request. See letter of Aug. 26.","word_count":394,"source_url":null,"themes":["free-will","catholic-spirit","universal-redemption"],"created_at":"2026-01-29T18:40:11.886376"}]}